Dealing With Conflict
Conflict is inevitable. It's all around us and takes many forms, from a war between two nations to a quarrel between two friends. We all experience conflict, yet we generally don't take the time to analyze it to see how and why we reacted the way we did. We know that anger can cause conflict to get out of hand - but there are other forces at work that are not so easy to identify.
Effectively managing conflict requires a true understanding of how conflict works. Conflict develops, most often, because of a lack of or breakdown in communication. Other causes are often dishonesty, jealousy, greediness and comprimising ones value and belief system. These are not always easily identified, however; being aware of such issues is vital to understanding the true nature of conflict.
"Keep your head while all about you are losing theirs." - Rudyard Kipling
Dealing with conflict is a skill - and a valuable one at that. Allowing conflict to get out of hand can polarize people and groups, reducing cooperation and undermining morale. However, when managed effectively, conflict can be constructive and often provide solutions to problems. Listed below are ten, time proven techniques to guide you in managing conflict effectively.
1. Stay Cool. When you get 'heated,' find the technique that works best for you to cool down - take a walk, take deep breaths, etc.
2. Talk it over. Listen to the other person's point of view
3. Focus on the problem - not the person or the group. Make sure you know what the conflict is about. Deal with that.
4. Look for a comprimise. What will satisfy both sides?
5. Know when to walk away. If others are about to fight, keep out of it. Don't make matters worse.
6. Be a leader. When tempers are high, urge others to chill out.
7. Be a friend. If a friend is about to fight, get him/her out of there.
8. Be reasonable. Encourage your friends and classmates to really work hard at stopping a conflict from getting out of hand.
9. Be responsible. If a conflict is getting out of hand, report it to someone who can help.
10. Practice real courage. Have the courage to try and work it out and not let your ego get in the way. Remember that fighting only makes things worse.
"The easist, most tempting, and least creative response to conflict within an organization is to pretend it does not exist." - Lyle E. Schaller
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